Lord Hafafafafafafah (Lord Ha-FA-fuh-FA-fuh-FA-fah) Part I

I went to the monthly Teen Writing Group meeting a couple days ago and partook in a competition to see who can write the most amount of words in a certain time frame. It was to help the NaNoWriMo-ers reach their goals. I, not participating in NaNiWriMo this year and having no idea what the heck to write about, started typing the first thing that came to mind.

Enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was an unicorn, and his name was Sprite (don’t question my naming-skills, okay?). Anywho, there’s also this land, far, far, away, which was once called the Fluffy Cloud Island. All things good changed when the land was overrun by the dictator of Lord Hafafafafafafah. (Again, don’t question my naming-skills. I’m thinking of these at the top of my head right now. Don’t judge.)

Anyway, let’s start at the beginning of the story: who is Lord Hafafafafafafah (Lord H for short, because Hafafafafafafah sounds ridiculous for such an evil person) and how has he become this dictator?

Lord H was actually Cupid Hafafafafafafah, from the royal line of Hafahs. Cupid Hafah was the first man in the family, and his heir was Cupid Hafafah, and HIS heir was Cupid Hafafafah, and so on and so forth. So if you count all the “fa” in his Lord H’s name (which if you did, you need to find something better to do with your life), you would know that he is the sixth in his line.

Lord H was a cute little thing when he was born. Tiny, pure, squawking like a chicken out of it’s coop. You know, baby stuff. You’d think that such an innocent child wouldn’t commit such atrocious acts, but he did, reader. Oh, he DID.

As a child, he was pampered. His father was the High Lord, which is one step down from the King. Unlike most of the lords in the government (well, *ahem*, “government”), his father, Cupid Hafafafafafah was a kind man. He believed in forgiveness and second-chances. However, the rest of the government’s view was, unfortunately, different. They found that the High Lord’s kindness was a weakness when it came to ruling the Fluffy Cloud Island. One day, they decided they had ENOUGH with his forgiveness bull-crap and ended his life.

So yeah. It was pretty bad for the unicorns, especially Sprite. You see, Sprite knew the High Lord like a bear knows honey. They were besties, ya here me? Sprite found the High Lord lying on the cold hard ground of the forest of rocks and heard his last words.

“You *wheez* need to *cough cough* tell my *choke* family the WiFi *cough hack* password.”

If you don’t know what WiFi is, it’s the Wizard Files where it has the names and information of all the people of the land. It also had a handy dandy booklet called How to be the High Lord 101, just in case something tragic happened and the High Lord isn’t there to mentor his heir. (Side note: the booklet was made after Lord Hafafafah was killed by a stampede of angry dragons for calling one of them a hoarder)

Sprite raced to the Hafah’s household and knocked on the door.

*to be continued*

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